Lindsey France
About Mission Year
Mission Year is a year long urban ministry program focused on Christian service and discipleship. We take teams of young people, place them in an area of need, and help them to serve people and create community. We are committed to the command of Jesus to “love God and love people,” by placing the needs of our neighbors first and developing committed disciples of Christ with a heart for the poor. Learn more about our first year program…
Lindsey France's Blog
somebody's baby / Jul 25, 02:32 PM
I wanted to share these lyrics with you. They are from Jon Foreman’s song “Somebody’s Baby.” This year, I have often considered what my life would be like had I been dealt a different hand. I was blessed with parents who not only cared for me but found 1,000 ways to express that love to me every day. I grew up in a comfortable home. I had the opportunity to attend private Christian schools with teachers who expected us to succeed and with a variety of extracurricular activities. This year, I had the opportunity to leave home, come to Chicago, and pursue a dream of sorts.
But had I not been sheltered from violence (had I been to the funerals of family and friends killed in gang wars or random acts of violence), had I not had loving parents (had my parents been addicts or had they abused me), had I not been far removed from the prevalence of drugs (had selling been the only way to get those shoes, had using been the only way to ease the pain), had I not been given the opportunity of a good education (had I been placed in over crowded classrooms, had I been given no reason to believe that I could be something)…
…who would I be? Where would I be? Would I be sitting in City Hall wearing shorts and a t-shirt clutching the hand of a man 18 years older than me waiting to obtain a marriage license instead of dreaming of a pretty white dress, flowers, and a party of a reception? Would I be staying in shelter because my family refused to help instead of going home to parents who would do anything to keep a roof over my head? Would I be selling my body to survive instead of fiercely protecting my heart? Would I be contemplating suicide instead of dreaming of a future?
Jordan always says that we all have addictions, but some are more obvious than others. We’re all the same — you, me, the murderers, the prostitutes, the celebrities, the politicians. We are all so fragile. We all fall. Some of us have a lot farther to fall than others, some of us have no one to catch us.
I know I have a tendency to not read lyrics when someone puts them on a blog. Please read these. :-)
She yells, “if you were homeless
Sure as hell you’d be drunk
Or high or trying to get there
Or begging for junk
When people don’t want you
They just throw you money for beer.”
Her name was November
She went by Autumn or Fall
It was seven long years
Since the Autumn when all
Of her nightmares grew fingers
And all of her dreams grew a tear
She’s somebody’s baby
Somebody’s baby girl
And she’s somebody’s baby still
She screams, “Well if you’ve never
Gone at it alone, well then go ahead
You better throw the first stone
You got one lonely stoner
Waiting to bring to her knees”
She dreams about heaven
Remembering hell
As a nightmare she visits
And knows all too well
Every now and again
When she’s sober she brushes her teeth
She’s somebody’s baby…
Today was her birthday
Strangely enough
When the cops found her body
At the foot of the bluff
The anonymous caller this morning
Tipped off the police
They got her I.D
From her dental remains
The same fillings still intact
The same nicotine stains
The birth and the death were both over
With no one to grieve
She’s somebody’s baby…
Comment [2]
a fire shut up in my bones / Jun 5, 09:29 AM
I admit that when I started Mission Year, I had high aspirations of blogging weekly and keeping you all well informed of my life here in Chicago. However, in this I have failed. This is not because I have nothing to write about. The opposite is true and the thought of giving voice to the my thoughts can be a bit overwhelming.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the day when I will be with Jesus — face to face, hand in hand. A few weeks ago, I was sitting on our back porch and I was overcome with an intense longing to be in that place. Since then, I have had a growing dissatisfaction with the world in which I live and a deepening desire for the world to come.
It is rather distressing — living here, surrounded by and entrenched in pain, injustice, lies and the sense of hopelessness and despair that this fallen world cultivates. I’m beginning to see that the long journey of accepting God’s truth and becoming a truly liberated individual is only the first step.
This world is not exactly in a state of good health. The latest official-released death toll reports that the cyclone in Myanmar killed 77,738 people and left 55,917 missing and 19,359 injured. China’s death toll following the earthquake is nearing 70,000. The rising cost of basic foods and oil has fueled the world’s hunger crisis. Bread for the World estimates that “in developing countries, 16 million children die every year from preventable and treatable causes. Sixty percent of these deaths are from hunger and malnutrition.” And have we forgotten about the genocide in Darfur? Why have we stopped speaking of the atrocity of the lucrative business of child soldiers in Uganda?
Human suffering is not limited to the physical. People blindly accept of culture’s definition of beauty, intelligence, and value. Refusing to accept these lies is, at the very least, difficult. As a young American woman, society expects me to meet a certain criteria. The closer I come to the standard, the more valuable I am. I am just beginning to realize that my failure to meet these (impossible) standards has destroyed my self image. This realization has been painful, but it has opened my eyes to see that there are countless women like me who have attempted to bandage their life threatening wounds with the cheap band-aids of shallow friendships, counterfeit beauty, and feigned confidence.
I really don’t mean to discourage you. But these are the things I see. When a woman at the shelter returns to her abusive husband in hope of again finding security and value, my heart breaks. When a young woman starves herself to fit society’s definition of beauty, my heart breaks again.
To be honest, I wish I could close my eyes to all of this madness. I wish that I could return to my shallow, self absorbed naivety. But I can’t. In chapter 20, Jeremiah says, “Whenever I speak, I cry out proclaiming violence and destruction, insult and reproach all day long.” He was weary, burdened by the message of pain that would be brought by his people’s unwillingness to return to God. But then he says,
“But if I say, I will not mention him, his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.” (v9)
And so it is, God has captured my heart and exposed it to a hope that will not disappoint. And now, I cannot live a liberated life until my brothers and sisters are released from their chains. And so I wait, ever so impatiently, for that day when we will all fall at the feet of Jesus and enter into an eternity of joy, beauty, and peace.
Comment [3]
an account of affirmation / Apr 17, 12:03 PM
Recently, I’ve had the blessing of “facilitating” morning devotions at the Joshua Center a few times a week. The moments we spend singing a capella, reading God’s word, and praying together have been vital to my deepening relationships with the ladies. It has given me the opportunity to be vulnerable with them as they have been with me. In exposing my weaknesses, I am also able to share with them the reason I breathe, laugh, cry, and sing. But it isn’t what I share that really matters. In the last few weeks, it has been beautiful to see the women taking over devotions. Most mornings I barely get a word in! God has been working miracles in their lives and they cannot help but testify to His goodness. Morning after morning, I am brought to my knees at the throne of God by their wisdom, faith, and honesty.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how God brings people crashing together. I think if it weren’t for those violent collisions that foster relationships, we would all likely be hermits. (Maybe I’ll further develop this very vague thought in another blog someday soon…)
Friday morning, I wasn’t exactly bubbling over with encouraging thoughts or words. So, I sat down with the ladies and asked them to share what God had been teaching them throughout the week. Laura, a new guest who has a great sense of humor and a fantastic southern accent, asked to share. The day before, she talked with me about her life, struggles, and doubts. A fellow guest had spent some time studying the Bible with her on Thursday evening and they had read Matthew 5.
She shared a beautiful perspective of Matthew 5:14-16. She told us of a time when she had been beaten very badly and left at the bottom of a hill beside a road. It took two days for her to climb to the top of the hill. When she did, she saw the lights of an ambulance that was responding to another call. They saw her and took her to the hospital. She said she feels like she is still crawling to the top of the hill spiritually, Jesus at her side. And one day, she will be the light of the world, the city on the hill. (Well, I think she is already a light…but, you know.)
Ok, so, about that collision. Billie, a quiet and wise woman who has been here for some time, spent the week trying to make the decision to move to Kansas for a job or to pursue a housing opportunity here in Chicago. Friday morning, she told me that she had made the decision to move. After Laura and several others shared, we gathered around in a tight circle and prayed for Billie.
A few hours later, I was in the computer lab with some of the ladies when Billie came to me with a single piece of paper in her hand and an unmistakable light in her eyes. She had been reading a “prophecy bulletin” and the day’s encouragement read as follows:
“As spring calls forth new growth, so I am calling you to come forth in new life and strength. Quiet your soul and hear the sound of My voice and the power of My purpose will be revealed in you. You are about to emerge from the darkness of past days into the light of life and increase. Prepare your heart to truly release yourself from the past and personal history, for this is necessary prerequisite to your progression, says the Lord. Matthew 5:14-16 says, “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven.”
So, again I was amazed at God’s power and faithfulness. He often uses the most unlikely people to speak words of truth and affirmation into our lives. Just listen.
in joy or pain, i need thee / Apr 10, 10:12 AM
“One day as a young wife and mother of 37 years of age, I was busy with my regular household tasks. Suddenly, I became so filled with the sense of nearness to the Master that, wondering how one could live without Him, either in joy or pain, these words, “I Need Thee Every Hour,” were ushered into my mind, the thought at once taking full possession of me.” (Annie Hawks)
I’ve found myself humming this song endlessly the last few days. I love that it was written by an ordinary woman on an ordinary day. I am beginning to recognize this burning need in myself — whether I am in the midst of my daily routine, a moment of pure joy, or bitter disappointment, I am always in a state of utter desperation for God (though I may not always realize it).
“I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.”
Be still. Know that I am God. These things I have told you so that you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But, take heart. I have overcome the world. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, be thankful and lift up your prayers to me and My incomprehensible peace will quiet the chaos in your mind and calm the turmoil in your hearts. Seek solitude. Find silence. Listen. My gentle whispers will satiate your desperate need for peace.
“I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.”
It is outrageous that my felt dependence on God changes with as my circumstances and emotions change. When I am filled with joy, I am in just as great a need of God as I am when I am filled with despair. In agony or in ecstasy he is my strength, my joy, my peace. My needs may be different, but I am desperate for him all the same. He is all that I need, and all that I want. Without him, my life is void of purpose.
“I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.”
Teach me Thy will. Fulfill your promises in my life. Not my own, but yours. Though I am weak and unworthy, though I tremble and doubt, I am yours. I need you. Whatever may come, where ever you may lead me, I trust that you will be enough for me. Have your way in my life.
“I need Thee, oh, I need Thee. Every hour I need thee. Bless me now my Savior, I come to Thee.”
Comment [1]
hold my hand / Apr 1, 10:47 AM
If you’ve heard anything at all about my Mission Year experience, you have undoubtedly heard about Gloria, Zaria, and ZJ, the three bundles of joy who live downstairs. They are constant sources of laughter, awe, frustration, and shock. It has been such a beautiful experience to watch them grow in the last seven months. Zaria has the wit of a sixteen year old. She is always vying to be the center of attention. She’ll do just about whatever it takes and she often entertains us by singing, dancing, or preaching. Gloria is inquisitive, funny, and beautiful. Last night, she curled up with me in a big chair and whispered secrets into my ear. She asked questions that were incredibly difficult to answer and got really excited when I told her that when she went to sleep, Sarah and I are in the room right above her sleeping too.
Then we have ZJ. When we arrived in Chicago, ZJ spoke only in baby babble. Over the last few months, it has been incredible to see his vocabulary expanding by the minute. One evening this week, I was walking down our block after work and I was delighted to see that the family was just getting home. I hadn’t seen them since I left for break. When he saw me, ZJ ran up to me, jumped up and down and said, “Hey Lindsey!!”
My heart stopped. No really, it did. He had never said my name before. This was a monumental moment.
I didn’t think anything could be more precious. That was until last night. Now that he can say my name, ZJ can get me to follow him just about anywhere. His favorite phrase last night (well, except for “sit down!”) was “C’mon Lindsey!” At one point, I was sitting down and he crawled up into my lap. “Hold my hand, Lindsey!”
Oh my. What beautiful words. After explaining to him that he was the only boy whose hand I would hold (remember, Mission Year has a no dating policy…), I held BOTH of his hands and planted a big kiss on his cheek.
I love those kids so much.
